Firsts.

We had a very productive day with "first times". Let me elaborate....

• We are moving and I found my first GIANT wolf spider in a box given to me courtesy of my aunt and uncle. Thank you.
• I finally broke down and went grocery shopping today, only to realize halfway through the check out, I didn't have my card. That is a first. Hopefully, since it was so embarrassing, a last as well.
• Lillie brushed her new molars with her first toothbrush. Well, I helped.
• Finally. Paige is having her first slumber party at my aunt and uncle's house with my adorable cousin Victoria. I am a nervous wreck, but was assured they have done their fair share of raising the four kids they have...so in other words, I should shut it and not to fret. Besides, Tori is as cute as pie and no matter how fun our slumber parties are at home....she is seven or quite possibly eight... Therefore much cooler than me. Can't argue with that....

Fear.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of everything. I mean EVERYTHING. But let's all focus on my fear of the day. Dentists. Not really for the drilling, spitting, and scraping....more for the shots. Not even really the shot itself. The medicine. Let's get right down to the heart of things. The medication. I won't even take NyQuil. Yeah. That bad. If it can't be cured by Tylenol or Aspirin, it better not happen to me. Until now. I have a toothache. And I mean TOOTHACHE. Constant and unrelenting since last Thursday. Well, that is what happens when you are afraid of the dentist. Things get neglected. I tried my best for years. I brush twice daily (or more when I can), floss, rinse with mouthwash (ahh fresh...). No good. I had children. I broke two teeth. Count em. Two. Dos. Ouch. Well the second has come to haunt me. I have been in so much pain for the last 6 days. I finally gave in and went to the dentist. He was amazing. Everyone was so understanding of my fear. But they can't fix it until next Wednesday. Stupid insurance. Guess I need an approval....no fun. So until then, guess I pray. Pray for some relief. It must come, right?

Getting Ready.

Paige is officially a kindergartener. Yes. We registered today. She got into an amazing school that is well known for it's gifted students. I always knew she was Ms. Smarty Pants! Lord have mercy. I am the mom of a kindergartener....

Happy Mommy Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. You have all influenced me in some way and I wanted to send all our love to you on your day. Thank you for everything you do!

Don't Press My Buttons.

I have very unique children.

I mean that.

Lillie has suddenly developed a totally irrational fear.

Omphalophobia.

The fear of.............BELLY BUTTONS! Yes, you read that right. Now you may scratch your head in confusion. I am.

It started strangely enough when she decided to pull up my shirt and check out my "mommy-tummy". ( You know the kind girls. Two beautiful little girls later, my tummy isn't as "cute" or "tight" as it was 6 years ago....)

She started freaking out. Crying. Pulling my shirt down. All that jazz.

I should be horribly offended by my child's obvious repulsion to the belly that made her who she is today. But instead of crying, I laughed. I took her cute little hand and tried to have her touch it and said, "Belly button. This is a belly button, Lil." She would have NONE of that. More pulling away. More painful face. Like it actually hurt her to look at it!

Fast forward a day or so. I decided to see if this was a freak occurrence. Oh no. It was not. Well, maybe it is just mine that she despises. Nope. She won't even look at or touch her own. I tried. I took pictures of me trying to convince her they are just a button. On the belly. Nothing horrible. But she is convinced. Something in her one-year-old brain says "Stay away from those freaky holes! Don't even touch!"

Strange.

But unique.

Well unique is her middle name.

Getting Over You.

"But you will get over their death, although you don't believe it now. Know why? Because you knew him alive. Memories of life and living always win. You knew him dead for one terrible night but you knew him alive for a decade. Death is strong and has a viciously powerful hold for a while, but life is constant and insistent. It refuses to let go or be pushed back. When his death has eventually stopped bullying your memories, life will shove it aside and say, "Give me my place again. You have had your time in the spotlight but it is over. Go to the background where you know you belong."

~Jonathan Carroll's Blog~

Stand By Me.

I found this on Jonathan Carroll's blog which I read almost religiously. Definitely worth checking out. Amazing.

Two college kids traveled around the world and recorded street musicians doing their "take" on several different songs. They turned it into a short documentary which appeared on Independent Lens on PBS.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741